My June was, in a word gray ...
and hard, ...
and cold, ...
like the weight of the steel bars of a prison cell pressing against my chest and slowly suffocating me.
I fell apart during June. I couldn't bring myself to do any real blogging. I didn't pick up my camera for over two weeks (and I'm now hopelessly behind in classes and challenges). I didn't scrapbook. I also didn't exercise much and definitely went off the wagon with eating choices. And I didn't care. In fact, I've been on a wicked sugar binge lately, much like an addict. Sad I know. I went through the motions of living, without truly being present in the moment. Sure there were a few bright spots and moments of levity, but for the most part, June sucked. Big time. Sucked.
I recognize my behavior as a depression brought on by the "new normal" of living with an unemployed spouse and having both him and the girls home full time. But I had to live with it to get to this point. I guess I'm starting to adjust and find my way through it. This art journal page was my response to one of the early days of missing my quiet time:
a close up:
So I happily bid June adieu and look forward to coming alive again in July! Adios June! Auf Wiedersehen! Au revoir! Sayonara! Later dude...
14 comments:
I think we all have times like this Cheri but don't think you are on your own all your blogging friends are here don't forget that x
I like the way you talk about actively trying to work yourself out of your funk through your art journal pages. It's important to work yourself upward with better and better-feeling thoughts. It can be so hard, but even if you only make yourself feel a little better, that's a step in the right direction!
It may get worse before it gets better. Realistically, you are in a situation that you have no control over. The only thing you can control are you own reactions, and I can see you are struggling to do just that. You'll make it through this, because you are you, but it isn't going to be easy, and there will be dark times. Keep using all those great principals you've been learning and adopting, and let this make you stronger! There WILL be light at the end of the tunnel. And don't forget to take some "me" time to de-stress!
I hope working on the art journal page helped.....I am so impressed with what you've produced.Here's to a better July.
I think your reactions are completely natural, so don't be to hard on yourself Cheri. Roll on July!
Sooo glad to see you coming out of your funk, if only for moments at at time. the journal pages are wonderful and a great way to work through some of this. I wish I could do even that. And you didn't blog much in June? You have more posts out there for June than I did this month. HUGS Cheri. We'll all be here to help you through this and beyond! Just wait until you get around the corner... it's going to be amazing!
I would be in the same boat for sure...and do in fact struggle with it a bit all summer. DH is home more during the summer months (he teaches) and, of course, so are the kids. So it IS a big adjustment going from my quiet, me days to sharing it with others. I wish you a happy, contented JULY. Your art journal pages are delightful and I'm glad they've been a creative outlet for you.
...and I did miss you, I noticed you weren't blogging quite as much.
Thanks for such an honest post - I think lot of people feel like that but would not write it. I think the way you are working through it is great and I know that at times I have to push myself because work takes up so much of my time and then has a negative effect upon family. Your art journalling is stunning and I hope July brings more sun in your life :0)
My daughter recently wrote a piece about some struggles she was dealing with. At the end of it, she said she was trying hard to talk to herself like a kindergarten teacher. I loved that metaphor. Be kind to yourself. This is hard, but you will overcome, and your beautiful art journaling has to be a step in that direction!
Your art journal pages are wonderful Cheri! June was a good month here, but so so busy that I'll be happy to see Tuesday arrive when the last of my house guests head home and I don't have to rush with my blog reading and FPF coaching stuff!
On a bright note - you won the Pass the Book from Brenda, so be sure to check out her blog for details!!
Cheri, I'm so sorry that your June was gray. I'm amazed at what beauty came out of that darkness, though, through your art journal. I hope your July is much brighter and happier. <3
Here's what I love about you and your blog, Cheri:
1) I love that your word this year is "Happy" because it means that you are focused on that in spite of some of the..."stuff" life throws at you.
2) Your art journal is such an amazing therapy for you, and an inspiration to others (Me!); and
3) Your honesty is so refreshing. (I've been on a bit of a sugar binge myself for some of the same reasons you have been. Well, not the spouse or kids around, but just a lot of stuff that I'm dealing with.)
Keep your chin up, girlie. All this is temporary... xo
Cheri! I haven't had chance to visit all the blogs on my reader recently, but these art journalling pages are amazing. Hope you're feeling much better about things now - maybe all that chocolate helped? x
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