It started when I woke up fifteen minutes late, jerking awake from a bad dream, the details of which I have blissfully forgotten. I rushed through getting ready for work, but thankfully remembered the CD of my MRI for my afternoon doctor appointment. I spent all but 30 minutes of my day at work in meetings. Endless meetings punctuated with moments of levity, but overall productive.
After a blessedly sweet commute home, I arrived at the doctors office 25 minutes early. And sat in the waiting room for 50 minutes. The magazine selection sucked. The doctor confirmed what I pretty much already suspected. I have two herniated discs (L4/5, L5/S1) - a reoccurance of an old problem. They are pressing on my left sciatic nerve which is causing the constant burning pain down my left leg that is making me tired, cranky, unable to focus, and generally... well, fairly miserable. I am scheduled for an epidural steroid injection next Tuesday and then see another doctor in the office about possible surgery (appt. scheduled for next Friday). While I am NOT at all happy about my current diagnosis, I do realize it could be much worse. The first time I experienced this, my twins were about 18 months old. I woke up one morning and literally couldn't stand up straight. I missed six weeks of work. This round doesn't seem to want to sideline me entirely. That's good right?
I came home and retrieved the mail. Including a new credit card from Chase (updating expiration). I called to validate the card and was told that my account was delinquent. Say what? I pay my credit cards IN FULL. ON TIME. Every Month. Without Fail. I checked my ING account - no pending or rejected payments. But the transfer from savings to checking to cover the credit card bills is there. The money is sitting in ING checking. I pulled my paper statements. For three credit cards. My notations "scheduled for payment online 11/5" on one "11/9" on the other two. Yes, I definitely went online and scheduled these bills for payment. I have not lost my mind. {
Yet.} I called ING - they have no record of any request for payment being made for these bills. The gentleman suggests maybe I didn't complete the payment process. Hello? I've been scheduling payments online for years - I think I know the system. I called Chase Bank to explain. Sorry the very nice lady tells me - unless I have some proof that it is bank error there isn't anything they can do for me. Until they receive payment all three cards are delinquent. All three have been charged interest and late fees to the tune of around $230 total. Ouch. Oh, and if we should be silly enough to try to use the cards, they will be declined. I've rescheduled the payments through ING, but the cards won't be any good until maybe Tuesday.
Are you still reading? Oh my gosh, thanks for hanging in with me because here comes the best part.... While I am on the phone with Chase Bank, my daughters are literally SCREAMING at me to fix dinner (in their defense they had no clue what was going on, but still). I feel like telling them to make their own [fill in the blank with your favorite curse words] dinner. But Jay has just come home, so I ignore them and follow him upstairs to tell him the news. He is not a happy camper. He's wearing that "how can she be so stupid" look. And the conversation goes something like this.
Jay: What are you going to do to make sure this does not happen again in the future?
Me in my head: How am I remaining so calm??? I PAID the damn bills. Why do I get to take the fall for some computer glitch where the payments end up lost in cyberspace?
Me to Jay: Well from now on you can pay the bills and then I can't screw it up. [I know this is not the answer he is looking for, just as I know that he will not take over the bill payment from me, no matter how much I kick and scream.] So what, not only do I have to schedule the payments, now I have to check to make sure they actually go out on the designated day??? Isn't "online banking" supposed to relieve you of stress... not create more?
[This is the part where I lose it.] Well, I'll handle the bills, but your children are screaming for dinner and I do not have the patience to deal with them so you better take care of getting them fed. And by the way, I have two herniated discs and may need surgery.
And with that - exit stage right - I huff my way back to the basement to deal with my bills and email and feel sorry for myself. Amazingly, I did not break down in tears. In fact, I didn't remain angry or upset for more than a few minutes. Right now I am feeling very grateful that I have the ability to give myself a reality check. I am grateful that I can choose how I will react to what life has thrown at me today and that I can change my attitude when necessary. Tomorrow I will check to make sure the payments go out. Tomorrow I will go to the bank and get us cash so we can survive the weekend sans credit cards. I will pay the $230 in interest and late fees and chalk it up to another life lesson learned the hard way. I am grateful that we both still have jobs in this economy and that while the $230 will hurt, it will not mean my children go hungry (by the way, Jay fed them). Next Tuesday I will get that injection and pray that it works so I don't need surgery. I am very lucky to have good insurance coverage that will take care of this little medical issue. And life will go on. The world as we know it is not coming to an end. And my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day ends on an up note
. Thank you Universe for the abundance in my life and for the ability to see it.
