Monday, November 17, 2008
I'm in College Again
at least in my dreams anyway. I have this recurring dream (nightmare?) that I'm back in college. But always when I have this dream I am missing classes, in danger of flunking out, or taking final exams without the benefit of having attended any of the classes. Last night it went like this - I was back in college with a full course load and a scholarship to protect. I was talking to a young, good-looking teacher's assistance, trying to find out my grade in an English class and asking what it would cost me (grade-wise) to turn in the latest paper a day late, since I had entirely blanked out on doing the paper. Not only that, I didn't even know what the topic was or what was expected of me. I also had no idea how I had done on any of the work handed in prior to this - it seems nothing was ever returned so I had no idea of my status, or if I was doing poorly, where it was I had fallen short. As he reviewed my grades, seems I had two nearly perfect papers and two that had fallen in the "D" range, so I averaged out to a low "B". Well, if you know me at all, you know that is simply not acceptable. I don't do "B" work. I do "A" work. But here I was with a low B and a late paper in my best subject. Now, to make matters worse, I had missed putting my math course on my course schedule and hadn't attended a single class since the first one or two. My next stop would be to go see the math professor and find out if I could somehow make up for everything I had missed and still finish and pass that course. I woke up in a mild panic. I am now back in my real life, way past college having graduated quite successfully thank you, but wondering why I keep having this crazy dream. Is it a symbol of feeling overwhelmed? That I'm not doing enough or doing "good enough"? That I'm afraid of failure??? Any dream interpreters reading my blog want to help me out here?